It's been such a long break for me from blog.. Too many things on my mind...

Ramadan is here.. but soon it will be gone.. What have i done during this auspicious month... Will my fasting be blessed by Him.. Noone knows...

It's another 7 more days til Shawal.. And Ramadan will leave us.. I think it's sad cos for me personally, I'm more religiously incline during Ramadan.. Hopely He will give me guidance thru out my life, Not only during Ramadan... Amin..

N it's another 21 days til my wedding.. Am I totally prepared?.. Who is?.. All i can hope for is the best.. Is it too late to question whether he is the right one?.. Of course Not.. But i already know the answer.. there's this saying that I will always remember;

Don't marry someone you can live with... Marry someone you can't live without....

I always have these feeling when i don't meet Zul often... that he can live without me.. he has his own life.. he's perfectly fine without me.. N here I am feeling *shit* becos he just don't feel like going out to meet me..

But I'll be perfectly fine when he's around.. Am i being selfish? Am i being unreasonable? Am i being paranoid? Am i going insane?...YES..

Do i have to compete with his family members to get his affection n attention.. DAMN IT!!! He's making me feel lousy!!!!

I know he loves me... but is that enough for me... I want so much more... I WANT him all for myself... NO SHARING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ***I'M GOING CRAZY***

Meeting for just 5 or 6 days for these 2 months is NOT enough for me... Where is my boyfriend? Where is my fiancee? OR Who ever he is?...................

****GILA**** ****GILER**** ****GILO**** ****SIAO****

HEeeehhheeee!!

Who ever is reading these please don't get alarmed... These feelings will pass... (It better be soon)....

THE PARaN0iD oNe
Mad (as in 'crazy' N 'angry') Muly